Authentic Faith

The more I work with students, the more I worry about what they'll remember in 5 years.

I worry because when I ask students to define faith, they answer with a decision they made when they were 5, and when I ask them what God is doing in their life now, they answer with their math grade.  Not that God doesn't care about math, but if their faith is dependent on their math grade, then they are treading on thin ice.

I worry because no matter how much time, effort and prayer I put into a talk, conversation, small group or relationship, it could be completely forgotten or misinterpreted.  And while I know that their faith does not depend on my effort, it's still disheartening.

I worry that what they understand as 'faith' is only an assent to the truths that their parents believe and the rock that they think they are standing on will turn out to only be drifting sand when they go to college.  I know that no matter what happens, God has them in His hands and is in complete control of all of life.  I know that I am called to be faithful, not necessarily productive.  And I am content in that.

Honestly, I worry that students will only remember a funny song I had on my iPod, or that one time we crammed WAY too many people in my backseat to go downtown, or even worse, that they'll only remember the one time I lost my temper or didn't answer my phone when they needed to talk or, even worse than all of those, that I was merely a 'nice person'.

I dread being remembered as a 'nice person'.

Follow with me for a moment.  My entire purpose in ministry is to point students to the living God and to help them to embrace Him with their life.  If in 5 years, I am only remembered as someone who worked at a church and was kind to them without them knowing that any kindness exhibited was supposed to point them towards God's loving kindness to them, then I have failed my purpose.

I'm still excited by what I see God doing in the lives of students.  I'm still motivated to continue serving in faithfulness to what God has called me to.  The conversations with students about their math grades just keep me praying that someday, perhaps someday soon, they will come to know fully in their heart that God is good and beautiful and just and awe-inspiring even if they fail their next test.