My house is sparkly. Not as in glitter, the herpes of the craft world sparkly. But sanitized, scrubbed, wiped clean and nary a germ to be found (at least in the main living areas - don't get me started on the attic).
Why this sudden interest in cleanliness? A few reasons, actually, most of which have to do with a very interesting marriage dynamic. See, I'm not the neatest of people. I pile things, leave shoes wherever the fancy strikes to take them off and absolutely hate dusting. Hubs on the other hand, prefers order and hates clutter with a burning passion equal only to unnecessary stoplights. But he's been gone on a mission trip for the past couple of weeks, so my shoes have spread out and it took me 6 days to remember to bring a light bulb upstairs for our bathroom mirror.
But Hubs is coming home on Wednesday, and absence has made my heart grow fonder which has inspired me to clean with abandon this weekend so that he comes home to order, clean clothes and the ability to walk around our bedroom without tripping on my sneakers. Lest you fear I've gone completely mad, I can assure you that the spare bedroom/office is still a mess and the living room is still very much under construction.
I used this method with great results for my stove top grates. Mine needed a little scrub with a rubber scraper, but this house was lived in by a bachelor for many years.
I made this laundry soap (warning: annoying song on the blog) with the addition of some baking soda and have been using it a lot. Really love the smell!
I dusted, disinfected, put away stray shoes - not because I want to/started to feel like I was in my own episode of Hoarders, but because I want my husband to enjoy the home we have made together. He loves me no matter what and would be glad to come home no matter the state of the laundry if only because it's about 15-20 degrees cooler than Haiti.
This is my own way of saying "I love you, I missed you, and I'm glad you're home." It's been hard to learn that acts of service like scrubbing the tub mean more to him than a love note; but I love him a lot and I want him to know that, so I'm speaking his language. Plus, there are side benefits to cleaning, like finding money in pockets, having enough underwear to get you through the rest of the week, and not being afraid to take a friend on a house tour. :)
~JB
Showing posts with label married life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label married life. Show all posts
Monday, August 20, 2012
Sunday, August 12, 2012
You'll Understand When You're Older
I have long hated the phrase "you'll understand when you're older". I've also hated it's brother "oh, you're too young to understand" and it's good-for-nothing boyfriend "when you get to be my age, you'll see". It's probably my repressed frustration with authority. Or working with teenagers. Or the fact that I secretly believe that I know everything. Either way, I hate it.
And today, I must admit that it might just be true.
Let me explain. I am historically a person who has never understood why folks at home worry about folks on the road. I would come home late and wonder why my mom was upset. My theory was that if the hospital or police were involved, she would get a call and what else was there to worry about? One summer, I traveled around the country leading mission trips and only called home twice. Mom has yet to let me live that one down. It's not that I don't care, truly. It's just that I understand that when you are on an adventure, calling home to talk down a worrying family member isn't my idea of fun.
Then I entered full-time ministry and I learned that parents are always happier when you force their kids to call home. I did not do this because I became a believer in the 'call your mother and let her know you're ok' theory. Oh, no! It was purely a selfish motive to help parents like and trust me more. (Sidenote: it's really hard doing youth ministry when you get mistaken for a teenager, cut me some slack?)
And then, a week ago, I dropped my favorite husband in the world off at the airport for a two and a half week trip to Haiti. As his parents called me for updates, I told them that no news was good news - calls from Haiti were really only if he got really sick/kidnapped/arrested. The internet access where they are at is spotty, too. I said all this, to lots of people, and then it happened.
The phone rang at the office. I overheard the receptionist mentioned that it was one of the women in charge of the Haiti team. So, I did the only rational thing and ran to her desk and hover awkwardly behind her as she completed her call, then asked her to tell Hubs I love him and inquired as to just how sunburned my ginger husband had gotten. In that moment, I became my mother. (gasp) I was scrambling for details, wondering how he was, aching to talk to him and realizing just how much my mother must have wanted to slap me when I gave her that line about the hospital calling her if they needed her.
Hubs did call me tonight, briefly. He wanted to know if I was ok, tell me about how much he is loving his experience there and make sure I was harvesting the peas from the garden. It was only a couple of minutes, but hearing his voice was so good. I miss him so much, but I believe in the work that he is doing and I believe God will use this to make my husband's heart more like Jesus.
So the next time I make a student call home on a trip, it won't be to make their mom like me more.
JB
And today, I must admit that it might just be true.
Let me explain. I am historically a person who has never understood why folks at home worry about folks on the road. I would come home late and wonder why my mom was upset. My theory was that if the hospital or police were involved, she would get a call and what else was there to worry about? One summer, I traveled around the country leading mission trips and only called home twice. Mom has yet to let me live that one down. It's not that I don't care, truly. It's just that I understand that when you are on an adventure, calling home to talk down a worrying family member isn't my idea of fun.
Then I entered full-time ministry and I learned that parents are always happier when you force their kids to call home. I did not do this because I became a believer in the 'call your mother and let her know you're ok' theory. Oh, no! It was purely a selfish motive to help parents like and trust me more. (Sidenote: it's really hard doing youth ministry when you get mistaken for a teenager, cut me some slack?)
And then, a week ago, I dropped my favorite husband in the world off at the airport for a two and a half week trip to Haiti. As his parents called me for updates, I told them that no news was good news - calls from Haiti were really only if he got really sick/kidnapped/arrested. The internet access where they are at is spotty, too. I said all this, to lots of people, and then it happened.
The phone rang at the office. I overheard the receptionist mentioned that it was one of the women in charge of the Haiti team. So, I did the only rational thing and ran to her desk and hover awkwardly behind her as she completed her call, then asked her to tell Hubs I love him and inquired as to just how sunburned my ginger husband had gotten. In that moment, I became my mother. (gasp) I was scrambling for details, wondering how he was, aching to talk to him and realizing just how much my mother must have wanted to slap me when I gave her that line about the hospital calling her if they needed her.
Hubs did call me tonight, briefly. He wanted to know if I was ok, tell me about how much he is loving his experience there and make sure I was harvesting the peas from the garden. It was only a couple of minutes, but hearing his voice was so good. I miss him so much, but I believe in the work that he is doing and I believe God will use this to make my husband's heart more like Jesus.
So the next time I make a student call home on a trip, it won't be to make their mom like me more.
JB
Monday, May 7, 2012
2 Years
2 years ago, I married my favorite guy on the face of the planet. I call him Hubs. Here he is looking particularly lovely with our anniversary tier.
You may say, "Silly woman, you're supposed to eat that on your one year anniversary!" And you would be right. But here I am on our first anniversary:
I was in Haiti, leading a student trip, and yes, that little kid thought I was hilarious. Or he wanted my sunglasses, I'm not sure.
So we forgot about our anniversary tier in his parent's deep freeze for a while, then it seemed weird to eat it not on an anniversary, so we just put it off until our second. It for sure tasted WAY better back in 2010, but it wasn't as bad as I feared.
Our marriage has actually grown sweeter. We started a great tradition last year (after I got back from Haiti) - we light our unity candle that we lit during our wedding ceremony, pray, and talk about how we've grown in the past year. This year I told Hubs, "I think I like you better now than I did then." I like him a lot, both then and now. But I think we are learning to love each other even better than we did as we stood in front of friends and family 2 years ago.
In other news, we got a car on our anniversary! Not as a normal anniversary gift, just as a replacement for Hubs' car that pooped out on him and we happened to have time to go get one on our anniversary.
(We were parked to take this picture, moms. You raised safe drivers!) It's the nicest car he's ever owned, and he refuses to let it get dirty. Which is great, until he started asking to take my car to Lowe's when he was filthy from working in the front yard all day. Different story. Anyway, it's a Chevy Malibu, and we love it. Low mileage, lots of room, and low gas mileage.
So that's how we celebrated our second year of marriage. Car shopping, candlelight dinner at home, old frozen cake and prayer for our marriage.
I think we'll do it again next year. The celebrating, not the car shopping or the gross cake. But definitely the prayer.
JB
You may say, "Silly woman, you're supposed to eat that on your one year anniversary!" And you would be right. But here I am on our first anniversary:
I was in Haiti, leading a student trip, and yes, that little kid thought I was hilarious. Or he wanted my sunglasses, I'm not sure.
So we forgot about our anniversary tier in his parent's deep freeze for a while, then it seemed weird to eat it not on an anniversary, so we just put it off until our second. It for sure tasted WAY better back in 2010, but it wasn't as bad as I feared.
Our marriage has actually grown sweeter. We started a great tradition last year (after I got back from Haiti) - we light our unity candle that we lit during our wedding ceremony, pray, and talk about how we've grown in the past year. This year I told Hubs, "I think I like you better now than I did then." I like him a lot, both then and now. But I think we are learning to love each other even better than we did as we stood in front of friends and family 2 years ago.
In other news, we got a car on our anniversary! Not as a normal anniversary gift, just as a replacement for Hubs' car that pooped out on him and we happened to have time to go get one on our anniversary.
(We were parked to take this picture, moms. You raised safe drivers!) It's the nicest car he's ever owned, and he refuses to let it get dirty. Which is great, until he started asking to take my car to Lowe's when he was filthy from working in the front yard all day. Different story. Anyway, it's a Chevy Malibu, and we love it. Low mileage, lots of room, and low gas mileage.
So that's how we celebrated our second year of marriage. Car shopping, candlelight dinner at home, old frozen cake and prayer for our marriage.
I think we'll do it again next year. The celebrating, not the car shopping or the gross cake. But definitely the prayer.
JB
Friday, January 20, 2012
Meat & Potatoes
Today I am thankful for a husband that I can hang out with an laugh. I am also very thankful that he is not perfect, and that those imperfections continue to drive me toward my heavenly Father, who is perfect.
I don't mean this as an affront to the Hubs. He's great. Spectacular, even. He can make beautiful things out of plain old wood from Lowe's and make me laugh til I cry and fall out of my chair. He can know my heart before I do and comfort me before I realize I've been hurt.
But the boy is not perfect. He'll say, in the middle of what I would call a romantic moment, "I wish those curtains were ironed." and never intend to pick up the iron himself. He'll critique a dinner I rushed home to make after a long day and forget things like tact and social etiquette.
See, when I was single, I wanted a skinny hipster guy who could write a song about me then perform it in a coffeeshop. That life that I had imagined would have met a lot of my expectations, and yet, I would have been so apprehensive about it. Because what I wanted was for someone to love me unconditionally, romantically and perfectly. But I would have, even through all the coffeeshop serenades, been left apprehensive about losing that sugary sweet romance.
What we have now is not perfect, but it is real. Instead of a fluffy, melt in your mouth cotton candy sweetness, it's a hearty meat and potatoes kind of love. It takes some time to chew, and there may be a lump or two in the potatoes, but it's filling and balanced and healthy. It leaves you satisfied.
I had wanted dessert, but God gave us a meal instead. The most beautiful thing, though, is that even after you eat a hearty meal, you'll be hungry again. God is the giver of the food, of the love, of the ability to share this life with my best friend. And I am so thankful that, through the beautiful moments and the curtains that need ironed, he points me to Him.
I don't mean this as an affront to the Hubs. He's great. Spectacular, even. He can make beautiful things out of plain old wood from Lowe's and make me laugh til I cry and fall out of my chair. He can know my heart before I do and comfort me before I realize I've been hurt.
But the boy is not perfect. He'll say, in the middle of what I would call a romantic moment, "I wish those curtains were ironed." and never intend to pick up the iron himself. He'll critique a dinner I rushed home to make after a long day and forget things like tact and social etiquette.
See, when I was single, I wanted a skinny hipster guy who could write a song about me then perform it in a coffeeshop. That life that I had imagined would have met a lot of my expectations, and yet, I would have been so apprehensive about it. Because what I wanted was for someone to love me unconditionally, romantically and perfectly. But I would have, even through all the coffeeshop serenades, been left apprehensive about losing that sugary sweet romance.
What we have now is not perfect, but it is real. Instead of a fluffy, melt in your mouth cotton candy sweetness, it's a hearty meat and potatoes kind of love. It takes some time to chew, and there may be a lump or two in the potatoes, but it's filling and balanced and healthy. It leaves you satisfied.
I had wanted dessert, but God gave us a meal instead. The most beautiful thing, though, is that even after you eat a hearty meal, you'll be hungry again. God is the giver of the food, of the love, of the ability to share this life with my best friend. And I am so thankful that, through the beautiful moments and the curtains that need ironed, he points me to Him.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Hard Working Man
Hubs and I have had these last 4 days off work together, and it has been wonderful. And productive. Which, a few years ago, I would have said was an oxymoron, but my husband has managed to teach me what my father never could - hard work feels good at the end of the day.
Lest you doubt my manly man's level of awesomeness, here's what we got done this weekend:
No, you cannot have him.
However, he is for rent should you happen to be willing to a) feed him well and b) come help us finish the crown molding.
Lest you doubt my manly man's level of awesomeness, here's what we got done this weekend:
- installed a new outlet under the porch
- went back to Lowe's about 4 times to make this project happen
- hung Christmas lights (the big kind that make me think of Charlie Brown) & garland on our porch
- cleaned pretty much the whole house
- got started on hanging crown molding in the dining room
- enjoyed a delicious home-cooked meal every night
- finished off the Thanksgiving leftovers
- put up our Christmas tree for it's inaugural season in the new house
- and he still had enough energy to help his parent's neighbor pour a concrete slab
No, you cannot have him.
However, he is for rent should you happen to be willing to a) feed him well and b) come help us finish the crown molding.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
He loves me for me
I am so thankful that my husband loves me for who I am and not for my skills in wifery.
My record for longest-load-of-laundry ever is a week. One week. Seven days. God created the entire universe in six and it takes me seven to do a load of whites. And I didn't even really realize it until my husband ran out of undershirts. And that boy has a lot of undershirts.
I have also as of late been refusing to take out the trash. Now, the dumpster has been infested with bees this summer, and it's quite the chivalrous act for Hubs to put himself in harm's way because I would cry like a baby if I got stung. But my bravery does not increase with the stinkiness of the trash. Oh, no. I just let it sit there and keep a window open.
And have I mentioned how long I take to get ready for bed? Hubs takes 1.24 minutes, I'm in there for a good solid 10 plus. And yes, I do insist that he keep the light on and wait for me.
And one of his favorite meals? Sauerkraut. One of the things that makes me most nauseous? Sauerkraut. I refuse to cook it, smell it, eat it, let it touch anything I eat or let it be in my kitchen when I'm home.
Would anyone like to nominate me for wife of the year?
Yeah, me neither.
Which is why I am so thankful to have a husband who looks at me with the God-given grace of love. Unless I'm withholding sauerkraut.
My record for longest-load-of-laundry ever is a week. One week. Seven days. God created the entire universe in six and it takes me seven to do a load of whites. And I didn't even really realize it until my husband ran out of undershirts. And that boy has a lot of undershirts.
I have also as of late been refusing to take out the trash. Now, the dumpster has been infested with bees this summer, and it's quite the chivalrous act for Hubs to put himself in harm's way because I would cry like a baby if I got stung. But my bravery does not increase with the stinkiness of the trash. Oh, no. I just let it sit there and keep a window open.
And have I mentioned how long I take to get ready for bed? Hubs takes 1.24 minutes, I'm in there for a good solid 10 plus. And yes, I do insist that he keep the light on and wait for me.
And one of his favorite meals? Sauerkraut. One of the things that makes me most nauseous? Sauerkraut. I refuse to cook it, smell it, eat it, let it touch anything I eat or let it be in my kitchen when I'm home.
Would anyone like to nominate me for wife of the year?
Yeah, me neither.
Which is why I am so thankful to have a husband who looks at me with the God-given grace of love. Unless I'm withholding sauerkraut.
Friday, May 27, 2011
SO ready
This is Hubs & I at the beach two years ago:
See how happy we are? The carefree smiles? The lack of worry lines or cell phones or worrying about our students?
That'll be us in one short week. Woo-freaking-hoo!
I've been slowly suffocating under piles of work, prep for summer, laundry, running around and to-do lists. Next Friday, I get to unearth myself from all of that and leave it behind without a care in the world.
Some of you may doubt my ability to actually not work for a week straight. But I will say that if there's one thing I do better than being a workaholic, it's being lazy. Trust me, that oxymoron works in my world. :)
See how happy we are? The carefree smiles? The lack of worry lines or cell phones or worrying about our students?
That'll be us in one short week. Woo-freaking-hoo!
I've been slowly suffocating under piles of work, prep for summer, laundry, running around and to-do lists. Next Friday, I get to unearth myself from all of that and leave it behind without a care in the world.
Some of you may doubt my ability to actually not work for a week straight. But I will say that if there's one thing I do better than being a workaholic, it's being lazy. Trust me, that oxymoron works in my world. :)
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Oh Yeah, We Got Married
Hubs and I just celebrated our first anniversary, and I totally missed on blogging about it. Probably because our anniversary fell on Easter, and I was in Haiti. So, I think you can forgive me.
I loved every aspect of our wedding. Every part of it was pretty intentional and we tried to reflect two things.
1) Jesus is the only reason this marriage was happening, let alone going to work
2) Weddings are a party, and parties should be fun!
The ceremony was my favorite part - we chose every song, I made a multi-page program that had games, fun facts and explained a lot of the special parts. My favorite part of the ceremony? We took communion together and prayed.
We also threw out a lot of stuff that didn't make sense to us - like making our bridesmaids and groomsmen stand the whole time. I've been there - you can't see anything, and you always feel like you're going to fall over and ruin the whole ceremony. Or maybe that's just me. Plus, both of my sister-in-laws had just given birth, and my other two bridesmaids were pregnant.
Then, we partied. Hubs and I didn't have champagne - we think it's gross. So we had Yuengling beer in our custom engraved pint glasses. I danced, Hubs had a cigar. We had a caricaturist and a photo station with props.
All in all, it was a beautiful day and the last year has been one of the best of my life. Living life with Hubs has taught me so much about God, faith and love.
Plus, take a look at this handsome man - so stinking hot! (sorry, Mom)
Thank you God for this man, this love, this marriage. And the wedding wasn't bad, either.
I loved every aspect of our wedding. Every part of it was pretty intentional and we tried to reflect two things.
1) Jesus is the only reason this marriage was happening, let alone going to work
2) Weddings are a party, and parties should be fun!
The ceremony was my favorite part - we chose every song, I made a multi-page program that had games, fun facts and explained a lot of the special parts. My favorite part of the ceremony? We took communion together and prayed.
We also threw out a lot of stuff that didn't make sense to us - like making our bridesmaids and groomsmen stand the whole time. I've been there - you can't see anything, and you always feel like you're going to fall over and ruin the whole ceremony. Or maybe that's just me. Plus, both of my sister-in-laws had just given birth, and my other two bridesmaids were pregnant.
Then, we partied. Hubs and I didn't have champagne - we think it's gross. So we had Yuengling beer in our custom engraved pint glasses. I danced, Hubs had a cigar. We had a caricaturist and a photo station with props.
All in all, it was a beautiful day and the last year has been one of the best of my life. Living life with Hubs has taught me so much about God, faith and love.
Plus, take a look at this handsome man - so stinking hot! (sorry, Mom)
Thank you God for this man, this love, this marriage. And the wedding wasn't bad, either.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
My Husband Has Friends
So Hubs and I are teenager-sitting this weekend. There's a family with an 8th grader and 10th grader that need a responsible adult to hang out with their kids while the parents are out of town. They couldn't find an adult, so here I am. Since our worship leader lives with the family, and he's single, Hubs came with me this time.
I'm sitting here, listening to them discuss Kung Fu movies. And wings. And beer. And jumbo shrimp. And how they're scared of 10th grade girls (I'm having a small group sleepover tomorrow night).
And it's hilarious. I love that Hubs is connected at our church, making guy friends. Even if it's over Kung Fu movies.
I'm sitting here, listening to them discuss Kung Fu movies. And wings. And beer. And jumbo shrimp. And how they're scared of 10th grade girls (I'm having a small group sleepover tomorrow night).
And it's hilarious. I love that Hubs is connected at our church, making guy friends. Even if it's over Kung Fu movies.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
The Love of My Life
Because Friday was his birthday, and Monday is Valentine's Day, today's post is dedicated to my husband.
I love that he works hard, that he is always ready to laugh, that he is passionate about his job and that he gets along well with my dad. I love that he pursues Jesus, that he cooks (very well) and that he treasures his heritage. I love that he has such a great beard, that his eyes make me melt and that he is excited to be a dad someday. I love that he takes care of me so well, that he won't let me make excuses and that he knows how to change his own oil and insists that I do too. I love that he knows how to pick out a good wine even though he only drinks beer, that he grows his own garden and that he calls his grandparents. I love that he supports me in ministry, that all my guy friends have man-crushes on him and that he can shoot a gun. I love that he lets me cry from time to time, that he has finally got it through his head that I hate sauerkraut and that he has a great relationship with his parents.
I love you, my husband, for so many reasons. And even when we're old and not able to do all of the things we love to do, I will still choose to love you.
I love that he works hard, that he is always ready to laugh, that he is passionate about his job and that he gets along well with my dad. I love that he pursues Jesus, that he cooks (very well) and that he treasures his heritage. I love that he has such a great beard, that his eyes make me melt and that he is excited to be a dad someday. I love that he takes care of me so well, that he won't let me make excuses and that he knows how to change his own oil and insists that I do too. I love that he knows how to pick out a good wine even though he only drinks beer, that he grows his own garden and that he calls his grandparents. I love that he supports me in ministry, that all my guy friends have man-crushes on him and that he can shoot a gun. I love that he lets me cry from time to time, that he has finally got it through his head that I hate sauerkraut and that he has a great relationship with his parents.
I love you, my husband, for so many reasons. And even when we're old and not able to do all of the things we love to do, I will still choose to love you.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Mawwiage
Today, Hubs and I have been Mr & Mrs for nine whole months.
So here are nine things I've learned about marriage since that day.
1 - You've gotta be honest. From "No, I really need a back rub today" to "I love you, but the gun rack made of deer feet is not going to be proudly displayed in a main living space. Ever." Implying, suggesting and hinting all have limited results, but a flat-out honest response will (almost) always enable better communication.
2 - Sense of humor required. Mainly because of all the honesty. And the fact that you just need to have fun in life, so who better to laugh with than your best friend?
3 - Say thank you. This one I learned from Hubs. I love it when he thanks me for doing the mundane tasks that make up my normal day, like doing the dishes or buying him good meat at the grocery store. It's such a nice feeling when the little things are appreciated!
4 - Enjoy different ice cream. You think I'm kidding, but one day I bought my favorite ice cream (vanilla bean....oh so yummy) and when it got used up in 3 days in his "smoothies" (let's be honest, they were milkshakes) I was pissed! But, I've discovered that he thinks that butter pecan is the grossest ice cream ever made, which suits me just fine, because now I don't have to share!
5 - Hold hands. I love it, I love it, I love it! It's a simple reminder that we're in this together without crossing the 'gross PDA' lines.
6 - Pray. Nothing makes me feel as loved as when I ask him to pray for something and he tells me that he has been doing just that. Praying together is a simple way that we remind each other that God comes first. Plus, this whole being married thing is hard some days, and in those moments, it's also good to be reminded of God's unconditional love, relentless grace and ultimate rule over all things.
7 - Make time for each others' families. I love that my family loves my husband. I love that I feel at home with his family. As much as they can drive me crazy (and I them), it's important to me that he is a part of all that craziness with me.
8 - Have adventures together. Whether it's joining a small group or going on a kayaking day-trip or traveling halfway across the world together, time spent doing something fun and new is a great bonding experience.
9 - Always say I love you. And it doesn't have to be in words. I get told 'I love you' when he makes me breakfast on Saturday mornings and he hears the same when I clean the house. But words are nice, too. Hint hint.
I also have accumulated a WAY more extensive list of things not to do over the last nine months. That list includes things like crying and yelling at your husband when he won't help you find the CD that has all your wedding pictures on it so you can blog about the joys of mawwiage at 11pm. :) No worries - it was found, I backed it up twice and I apologized for acting like a she-bear just out of hibernation.
So here are nine things I've learned about marriage since that day.
1 - You've gotta be honest. From "No, I really need a back rub today" to "I love you, but the gun rack made of deer feet is not going to be proudly displayed in a main living space. Ever." Implying, suggesting and hinting all have limited results, but a flat-out honest response will (almost) always enable better communication.
2 - Sense of humor required. Mainly because of all the honesty. And the fact that you just need to have fun in life, so who better to laugh with than your best friend?
3 - Say thank you. This one I learned from Hubs. I love it when he thanks me for doing the mundane tasks that make up my normal day, like doing the dishes or buying him good meat at the grocery store. It's such a nice feeling when the little things are appreciated!
4 - Enjoy different ice cream. You think I'm kidding, but one day I bought my favorite ice cream (vanilla bean....oh so yummy) and when it got used up in 3 days in his "smoothies" (let's be honest, they were milkshakes) I was pissed! But, I've discovered that he thinks that butter pecan is the grossest ice cream ever made, which suits me just fine, because now I don't have to share!
5 - Hold hands. I love it, I love it, I love it! It's a simple reminder that we're in this together without crossing the 'gross PDA' lines.
6 - Pray. Nothing makes me feel as loved as when I ask him to pray for something and he tells me that he has been doing just that. Praying together is a simple way that we remind each other that God comes first. Plus, this whole being married thing is hard some days, and in those moments, it's also good to be reminded of God's unconditional love, relentless grace and ultimate rule over all things.
7 - Make time for each others' families. I love that my family loves my husband. I love that I feel at home with his family. As much as they can drive me crazy (and I them), it's important to me that he is a part of all that craziness with me.
8 - Have adventures together. Whether it's joining a small group or going on a kayaking day-trip or traveling halfway across the world together, time spent doing something fun and new is a great bonding experience.
9 - Always say I love you. And it doesn't have to be in words. I get told 'I love you' when he makes me breakfast on Saturday mornings and he hears the same when I clean the house. But words are nice, too. Hint hint.
I also have accumulated a WAY more extensive list of things not to do over the last nine months. That list includes things like crying and yelling at your husband when he won't help you find the CD that has all your wedding pictures on it so you can blog about the joys of mawwiage at 11pm. :) No worries - it was found, I backed it up twice and I apologized for acting like a she-bear just out of hibernation.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
"Starting A Family"
Being in my mid-twenties with a decent majority of my close friends married prior to me, I've been hearing a lot of talk about this idea of "starting a family". When my friends tell me they're thinking about, working towards or planning for this, I know a baby shower is most likely in my imminent future and my friend will soon have lots of fun pregnancy hormones flowing freely. It normally means picking out the best stroller, decorating a nursery in the cutest way you could possibly imagine and finally having a great reason to acquire a rocking chair.
But I have a different idea.
We are starting a family. Our family, for the next indeterminate time period, will be just us: husband and wife, figuring life out. We're starting to decide what's important, what our traditions will be, who takes out the trash and what we love to eat for dinner. Together, we are creating the beginnings of what I really hope will be a great family, and even though we're not going to be adding anyone to our family anytime soon, I still think that what we are doing counts as "starting a family". Families don't need a certain number of kids or one kind of home to live it - families are created out of love, not babies. I guess you could say that babies are created out of love, too, but that's a subject for another day.
Monday, neither of us had to be at work and we spent a ton of time doing nothing. And you know what? It was SO good, so freeing, so happy to just chill on the couch with my favorite person in the world. In that moment, I knew I was completely content. Life is not (and has not been) easy, and yes, we do want our family to grow someday, but I am absolutely enjoying this time that we have to ourselves. I'm loving getting to know my husband a little better each day, becoming one even more than I thought we could. And we're working on our differences, too. We are starting our family and I love it.
But I have a different idea.
We are starting a family. Our family, for the next indeterminate time period, will be just us: husband and wife, figuring life out. We're starting to decide what's important, what our traditions will be, who takes out the trash and what we love to eat for dinner. Together, we are creating the beginnings of what I really hope will be a great family, and even though we're not going to be adding anyone to our family anytime soon, I still think that what we are doing counts as "starting a family". Families don't need a certain number of kids or one kind of home to live it - families are created out of love, not babies. I guess you could say that babies are created out of love, too, but that's a subject for another day.
Monday, neither of us had to be at work and we spent a ton of time doing nothing. And you know what? It was SO good, so freeing, so happy to just chill on the couch with my favorite person in the world. In that moment, I knew I was completely content. Life is not (and has not been) easy, and yes, we do want our family to grow someday, but I am absolutely enjoying this time that we have to ourselves. I'm loving getting to know my husband a little better each day, becoming one even more than I thought we could. And we're working on our differences, too. We are starting our family and I love it.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Christmas Spoilers
My husband ruined Christmas today.
We were out shopping on Black Friday (we'll discuss that at a later time) getting a laptop for me because my old one is busted. I was unsure about spending the money on something that we didn't "need", but Hubs told me to go home and get what we needed to buy a Toshiba we found on crazy sale. Then he said, "As long as I can get a game." What game, I asked. And he said he wanted the new Call of Duty. I knew he wanted that game already, in fact, I had been planning to get it for him for Christmas. I expressed my desire for him to not get that game pretty clearly for 2 reasons - 1, I'm really bad at buying good presents and I was excited to be getting him something that I knew he wanted; 2, It was the second thing that we didn't really need to be spending money on that day.
So he bought it, and he can't understand why I think he ruined Christmas.
Here's my reasoning: he took my joy. When he opened up that game on Christmas day, he would have been so excited, and I would have been the one to make him that happy. While some may see this as a simple ploy for favorite person status, I actually just truly enjoy surprising him with things that make him happy. Whether it's his favorite meal at the end of a long day, coming home to a clean house or buying him something that he really wanted - I love making him happy when he's not expecting it.
See, the problem is that he is a really good gift giver. He remembers me saying the smallest things and always manages to give gifts that are not only useful but sweet, and he always reminds me of his love for me. But gifts are not exactly my specialty. I'm the one that falls back onto sweaters, gift cards and yes, even the lotion/soap combo as imperfect ways to show my care for someone. And now that I'm married to someone who really appreciates gifts and feels loved when he gets something he really wanted, the sweaters and lotions don't work (not that I don't like sweaters, I love them, but you get the point). It's just that it's our first married Christmas, and I wanted my gift to him to be something that he actually wanted, not just something that's going to get shoved in a closet.
So now that I had finally found something that he wanted and would appreciate, he went ahead and bought it for himself and is playing it now as I write this post. He claims that I'm making too big a deal out of nothing and that he does wear sweaters on a fairly regular basis.
Here's my question: who is right on this? Feel free to comment & settle this. Alternate gift ideas will also be accepted.
We were out shopping on Black Friday (we'll discuss that at a later time) getting a laptop for me because my old one is busted. I was unsure about spending the money on something that we didn't "need", but Hubs told me to go home and get what we needed to buy a Toshiba we found on crazy sale. Then he said, "As long as I can get a game." What game, I asked. And he said he wanted the new Call of Duty. I knew he wanted that game already, in fact, I had been planning to get it for him for Christmas. I expressed my desire for him to not get that game pretty clearly for 2 reasons - 1, I'm really bad at buying good presents and I was excited to be getting him something that I knew he wanted; 2, It was the second thing that we didn't really need to be spending money on that day.
So he bought it, and he can't understand why I think he ruined Christmas.
Here's my reasoning: he took my joy. When he opened up that game on Christmas day, he would have been so excited, and I would have been the one to make him that happy. While some may see this as a simple ploy for favorite person status, I actually just truly enjoy surprising him with things that make him happy. Whether it's his favorite meal at the end of a long day, coming home to a clean house or buying him something that he really wanted - I love making him happy when he's not expecting it.
See, the problem is that he is a really good gift giver. He remembers me saying the smallest things and always manages to give gifts that are not only useful but sweet, and he always reminds me of his love for me. But gifts are not exactly my specialty. I'm the one that falls back onto sweaters, gift cards and yes, even the lotion/soap combo as imperfect ways to show my care for someone. And now that I'm married to someone who really appreciates gifts and feels loved when he gets something he really wanted, the sweaters and lotions don't work (not that I don't like sweaters, I love them, but you get the point). It's just that it's our first married Christmas, and I wanted my gift to him to be something that he actually wanted, not just something that's going to get shoved in a closet.
So now that I had finally found something that he wanted and would appreciate, he went ahead and bought it for himself and is playing it now as I write this post. He claims that I'm making too big a deal out of nothing and that he does wear sweaters on a fairly regular basis.
Here's my question: who is right on this? Feel free to comment & settle this. Alternate gift ideas will also be accepted.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Nov 1, 2008
Two years ago today, I met the love of my life.
Today, we're married, he's at work and I'm going to use my day off to figure out how to make him a carrot cake from scratch. But two years ago, I had just moved back to PA after a couple years living in California and he was subbing here and there while working as a TSS a couple days a week. I had just moved in with my friend Kristin from college and her fiancee Ryan was having a party for his mom's birthday which he had invited all of his friends to. When we moved in together, Kristin and I made a deal - I would teach her how to cook and she would introduce me to people in the area so I could have some friends outside of church. I was actually pretty nervous about going, but I thought it was just going to be a couple of people, so I got over my nervousness and asked Kristin what I was supposed to bring. She told me beer. So, I stopped at the drive-through beer distributor and got a case of Yuengling.
Hubs says now that he noticed me as soon as I walked in the door, because any pretty girl that came bearing a case of good beer was ok in his book. It took me a little longer to notice him. We started talking (I honestly don't remember who started the conversation, but I'm willing to bet it was him) and I found out he was a teacher, that he could cook and that he made his own pierogies from scratch. I kept my eye on him that night, and observed that he had absolutely beautiful blue eyes, that he was a pretty laid back guy and that he was really nice and welcoming in the most honest way. He offered me his coat (a work-stained Carhartt) because I was cold and asked me questions about myself . I remember that after a while, it seemed like if the rest of the party was inside, we would be outside on the deck and when everyone else came outside for some fresh air, we would meander our way inside.
After all that, I was still surprised when a week later, Kristin told me that she had received a text from him asking for my number. You see, I had just moved from California, a land where the decent guys were taken and the rest were idiots, potheads or had no life plan and just wanted to surf all day. I wasn't used to a nice guy actually taking initiative. Actually, what I was used to was nice guys liking other girls and thanking me for being such a good friend to talk about their girl issues with. So, I freaked. Instead of giving him my number, I wanted Kristin to set up a double date with her and Ryan to be the awkwardness buffers. But after a couple of weekends of that plan falling through for one reason or another, he called me (Kristin had her fill with being our go-between and made us talk like actual adults) and said that he thought I had wanted to learn how to make pierogies, so why couldn't he just come over and teach me. Well, I thought, a cooking lesson surely isn't a date, so we planned for a Monday night. We cooked, flirted and had a lot of fun doing both. At one point, a piece of hair had fallen into my face, but my hands were doughy, so he tucked it behind my ear. It was a that moment that I decided I liked him.
Things just kind of took off after that, and I'm so glad that they did. When I found out that his parents still celebrate the anniversary of the day they met (Jan 12th, at a frat party, if I remember correctly), we did some homework to try to pinpoint the exact day that we had met. Thus, a tradition is continued.
Happy Anniversary, Hubs. And here's to many more together. I love you!
Today, we're married, he's at work and I'm going to use my day off to figure out how to make him a carrot cake from scratch. But two years ago, I had just moved back to PA after a couple years living in California and he was subbing here and there while working as a TSS a couple days a week. I had just moved in with my friend Kristin from college and her fiancee Ryan was having a party for his mom's birthday which he had invited all of his friends to. When we moved in together, Kristin and I made a deal - I would teach her how to cook and she would introduce me to people in the area so I could have some friends outside of church. I was actually pretty nervous about going, but I thought it was just going to be a couple of people, so I got over my nervousness and asked Kristin what I was supposed to bring. She told me beer. So, I stopped at the drive-through beer distributor and got a case of Yuengling.
Hubs says now that he noticed me as soon as I walked in the door, because any pretty girl that came bearing a case of good beer was ok in his book. It took me a little longer to notice him. We started talking (I honestly don't remember who started the conversation, but I'm willing to bet it was him) and I found out he was a teacher, that he could cook and that he made his own pierogies from scratch. I kept my eye on him that night, and observed that he had absolutely beautiful blue eyes, that he was a pretty laid back guy and that he was really nice and welcoming in the most honest way. He offered me his coat (a work-stained Carhartt) because I was cold and asked me questions about myself . I remember that after a while, it seemed like if the rest of the party was inside, we would be outside on the deck and when everyone else came outside for some fresh air, we would meander our way inside.
After all that, I was still surprised when a week later, Kristin told me that she had received a text from him asking for my number. You see, I had just moved from California, a land where the decent guys were taken and the rest were idiots, potheads or had no life plan and just wanted to surf all day. I wasn't used to a nice guy actually taking initiative. Actually, what I was used to was nice guys liking other girls and thanking me for being such a good friend to talk about their girl issues with. So, I freaked. Instead of giving him my number, I wanted Kristin to set up a double date with her and Ryan to be the awkwardness buffers. But after a couple of weekends of that plan falling through for one reason or another, he called me (Kristin had her fill with being our go-between and made us talk like actual adults) and said that he thought I had wanted to learn how to make pierogies, so why couldn't he just come over and teach me. Well, I thought, a cooking lesson surely isn't a date, so we planned for a Monday night. We cooked, flirted and had a lot of fun doing both. At one point, a piece of hair had fallen into my face, but my hands were doughy, so he tucked it behind my ear. It was a that moment that I decided I liked him.
Things just kind of took off after that, and I'm so glad that they did. When I found out that his parents still celebrate the anniversary of the day they met (Jan 12th, at a frat party, if I remember correctly), we did some homework to try to pinpoint the exact day that we had met. Thus, a tradition is continued.
Happy Anniversary, Hubs. And here's to many more together. I love you!
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