An Impossible Quest

I came to a sad realization today...swimsuit season is coming soon.

Actually, it's not just 'coming', like friends who come over for dinner and a rousing game of Dr. Mario.  It's lurking, creeping, lying in wait to pounce on what little ego I've been able to build up over the winter months.  Because it's so much easier to be confident in my body during the winter months when I can wear fall colors that complement my hair, and sweaters that are warm, cozy and, let's be quite honest, easy to hide in.  Because during the winter months, no one sees my freakishly pale legs that I haven't shaved in a couple of weeks.  During the winter, my belly can stay comfortable behind layers of fuzzy warmth; protected in a way.  But not in summer.  Oh no.  In the warm summer months there is nowhere to hide.  My upper arms are exposed, my knees have no protection whatsoever (because it's now socially unacceptable to go two weeks without shaving) and let's not even get started on the need to look cute while sweating like a nervous high school boy at a cute cheerleader convention.  And of all the uncomfortable situations summertime brings, swimsuits are possibly the worst for me.  In no other social situation is it advisable to walk around in what amounts to a bra and underwear, unless you're near a body of water.  Then, it becomes almost a competition for who can be the most naked while still wearing $50 scraps of cloth. 

As if that all wasn't bad enough, I've got to look cute.  Seriously?  Any self-confidence has been stripped from me (along with my comfortable clothes) and I'm supposed to look cute?  Do you need more proof that there is an evil force at work in this world?  And on top of all of that, I'm a youth leader.  So while being more naked than I'm comfortable with in public, wearing uncomfortable, costly fabric that I'm supposed to look cute in, I also have to be respectable and appropriate without wearing anything that resembles what my Gram might wear.

So, while I've acknowledged the need to find a swimsuit that is cute, comfortable, inexpensive, appropriate and ego-boosting, the dilemma still remains of shopping for said impossibility.  That shopping trip requires a good, honest friend, lots of time, patience and coffee.  This quest cannot be completed without coffee.  So for now, I will peruse online and keep reassuring myself that there are more important things in life than swimsuits and that 99% of women are having this same issue.