Crisis...continued

First, read this story, because the rest will make a lot more sense if you do.

As crazy as last Friday was, it didn't stop there.  Friends had family situations, the needs of others popped up out of nowhere and Hubs had a 14 page annotated bibliography and a 4 page paper to write.  Oh, and I have tendonitis.  It was just one of those weeks.

When times like these come, I am continually reminded not of how busy my life is, or what a broken world we live in, but the power of God.

I know it may seem weird that in a time where all seems out of control, I am reminded of God's power.  Common sense would deem the opposite - to run around screaming "Where the crap are you?!" and shaking my fist at the sky.  I know well the feeling of searching for His presence in the midst of a crisis.  I know what it's like to wonder if you've been abandoned for someone with more prospects, more talent, or who looks better in skinny jeans.  Trust me, I've been around that block more times than you can count.

But this week, I've been consistently reminded that God has the power to heal, to repair, to redeem.  That gives me hope.  This world need not lay in wait for whatever pending disaster will strike next, because there is hope in God that, even if that disaster does come, that it will have a purpose, that we can use it to draw near to Him, and that we can see Him working in it all.  In addition to having hope, I am relieved of the burden of fixing all of these situations, of having to be the only source of comfort for these people.  I cannot fully explain how freeing it is to have finally acknowledged my not-enoughness.  I can take these burdens, sharing some of their weight from the other person, and put that weight squarely on the shoulders of the One who can bear it.  It's too heavy for me.  I am in no position to carry it, since I've got so much of my own junk weighing me down.  He has borne our sin, and as we share in His suffering, he bears that too.

I've long struggled with my not-enoughness.  One amazingly insightful woman once told me I had Miss Superhero Independent Syndrome and that those spandex I was trying to rock would become uncomfortable after a while, because I was never meant to fill that role (or wear spandex - ever).  I've wanted to be the answer for someone's problems because I thought it would give me purpose, would make me feel good about myself or would somehow let me earn a little of the grace God had given me.  Those were wrong, selfish and completely devoid of a true understanding of the gospel.  What I've begun to learn is that in embracing my not-enoughness, I am free from having to earn my place in the hears of others or of Christ.  By acknowledging that I can't, I am free to embrace the fact that I have, through the blood and life of Christ, been given these things.

Now, I'm only started on this journey, so if I do something really stupid next week, give me a break and remind me of God's grace that doesn't give up.  I'll do the same for you.