Plans

My husband and I both have the week off.  He, because he's a teacher and I just needed a sanity break.  We have spent lots of time with friends and family; lots of time sitting around talking, playing games, arguing over who was cheating over said games, watching hockey, and more talking.

It seems that everyone I talk to that's about our age either has a house, baby, ripped upper arms, a distinct financial plan or some combination of these enviable things.  Then there's me, a stressed out newlywed who doesn't even have a retirement fund and eats entirely too much sugar while living paycheck to paycheck.  Cue PMS and a few vacation days where I am freed to concern myself with such transient things as these and you have a mopey woman who is currently refusing to watch a movie with her husband because he's not as concerned as she is (and the movie he's watching is pretty dumb anyways, if you ask me).

And I know the right answer is to trust God, because having well-defined triceps does not equal true happiness in life.  Sometimes knowing the right answer, however, does not automatically mean that I live it.  Or that it even seems right every day.  Or that I don't wish for those other transient yet enviable things.  Or that it's wrong to want something like a distinct financial plan.

Some days it's easier to focus on what someone once called 'my plan for God's plan for my life'.  Those are not my best days.  But here I am, stuck in one of those days and I just don't want to hear the right answers tonight.  I just want to know that I didn't screw up my life by not saving every penny I earned since I was 15 or by having a car payment.

So I guess what I really need right now is the right answer.  Because the Truth that God's plans are always better is a safe thing to rest in, and that's exactly what my tired heart needs tonight.