I stress out way too much.
I worry. I wake up early and run through a list of things happening that day and everything that could go wrong. I replay old conversations imagining how they could have gotten better. I am scared to death to fail, so I do everything within my power to avoid it. I lie, making even the smallest failures the fault of someone, of something else.
And the thing is, is that I know that's no way to live.
Christ has set me free from all this, and still I choose to be a slave to it. I know that no matter how hard I try, I'll never be able to achieve perfection, but that Jesus is perfect for me. I need to daily try again to live in that instead in fear and worry. I need to daily accept God's grace. I also need to stop blogging when I have an excess of womanly hormones and time to myself, but that's besides the point. Life isn't always pretty, my heart isn't always happy and oddly enough, I feel like this is one of the few outlets I have for letting all that out. Mainly because about 5 people read this, and you all know and love me as I am.
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. What slave, once freed went back to his master and willingly entered into bondage again?
'making the smallest failures the fault of someone else...' I know all too well also my sweet girl. For me, it comes from feeling like if I fail, I won't be loved. Couldn't possibly be loved. And I have to remind myself everyday that I am, and will always be. What a wonderful picture of a slave returning to his master. Thank you for sharing your heart and reminding me...today...that you and I are both loved. Just as we are. :)
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